Remembering…

by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

At the conclusion of the Parsha, we are told of a special mitzvah: Remember what Amalek did to you when you left Mitzrayim. As you left Mitzrayim proudly, hoping to bring a message of hope and freedom to humanity, Amalek attacked and tried to kill you. They expressed their jealousy and emptiness in violence and destruction, and this is something that we are told to “Remember.”

The Medrash Tanchuma observes with astonishment that the same term “Remember” is also used regarding Shabbos, “Remember the day of Shabbos to sanctify it.” But, the Medrash explains, these two obligations to “Remember” are not the same.

Says the Medrash: It is like a King who tenders a festive banquet. When the table is full he says, “Remember… my loved one.” Similarly, Hashem declares “Remember the Shabbos to sanctify it with good clothing and good foods.” When the table is empty, the king also says “Remember,” but this time he says, “Remember my enemy.” Likewise, Hashem says that Amalek is best remembered on an “empty table,” as we will explain.

A number of years ago a teenage suicide terrorist bomber blew herself up in a market place in Israel, killing a number of civilians including a teenage Jewish girl that was just about her age. Different papers ran stories about the tragedy in a way that contrasted the lives of the two girls, the suicide bomber, and the girl she killed. One such article, called, “A Tale of Two Girls,” described how the Jewish girl was engaged and was hoping to soon get married, had embarked on plans for higher education and was full of hope, while the terrorist teen was living in abject poverty, with no hope.

It was indeed a “Tale of Two Girls.” But, if the Medrash would have its way, the implications would be far greater than a casual contrast of circumstances. Both girls had grandparents who started off with nothing. The society from which the terrorist came chose jealousy and poverty, aspiring to bring destruction on all that is Western, while the society from which her victim came chose to build, to be hopeful, to accept opportunities for success, striving for a brighter future, and opportunities to help others. Similar origins, different choices.

Shabbos is the day designated to remember creation and Hashem’s benevolence. When Hashem sets the table, symbolizing His benevolence, He recalls His beloved- the one that is hopeful and wishes people well- and says “Remember him.” The full table is a perfect match for such a person and is synonymous with the attitude of such a person. When the table is empty, however, the King says, “Now you shall remember the enemy of goodness-” the one who destroys and is full of jealousy. Remember him, because an empty table is what he strives for, for it justifies his jealousy, hate, anger, and violence in the eyes of the world.

Essentially, the Medrash is telling us that there are two types of “Remember”s, and they are both transformational. One is the “Remember!” of anger, which preaches empty-table-jealousy as a system to justify hatred and destruction. The other “Remember!” is connected with a full table of love and blessing. This “Remember!” is the remember of Shabbos, and is transformational, in a very good way. As one Rabbi said, “With one act of hospitality, with the price of a piece of Shabbos chicken shared with another person, one can bring the joy of Torah living to a fellow Jew and save generations.” It is the type of optimistic attitude that every human being has the choice to choose.

I have often wondered why so many great Jewish leaders after the Holocaust were not obsessed with building holocaust memorials. Perhaps it is because these great Jews busied themselves instead with building lives. Focusing on the tragedy was not an option. Instead, they focused on rebirth. Indeed the overwhelming number of accomplishments were in building Torah communities, with yeshivos, mikvaos, shuls, and chesed organizations. Many achievements were dedicated as memorials to those who had been killed. But, the tone was one of eternal optimism, as they forged the very soul of the generation of survivors.

There are indeed two “Remember”s. One is the empty-table-syndrome which recalls tragedy and wallows in it. It is the perception of being grievously wronged or passed up, and the desire to wrong others. This is the “Remember” of what to distance yourself from. The other “Remember” is that of Shabbos.  It is a “Remember” of blessing, and from it, blessing emanates to the entire world.

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