“I Have Arrived!”

by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

The Jewish farmer arrived at the Beis Hamikdash with his Bikurim, his first fruits. He had waited for a very long time for this produce. On a personal level, he had spent months nurturing the trees, as well as had months of patience. On a national level, he realizes that the Jewish people have come from a fledgling nation, oppressed and vulnerable, to a sovereign, respected people. He has come to say, “Thank You!”

In the short “speech” that the Torah requires him to make, there are two themes that are most relevant to anyone who has arrived at the fulfillment of a goal, or hopes, someday, to arrive. One theme is that he is ever-grateful for the blessings in his life. He recalls well his humble beginnings, and appreciates G-d’s benevolence. The second theme is that he made sure to exercise his success in a responsible, noble way, by caring for the needy. Of all the statements that the farmer makes, I think the most significant is the statement, “Ki Bosi- I have arrived.” He recognizes himself as a success. He is a landowner at a time and in a culture where that is noteworthy, and he has acted nobly.

Often in life, we dream of how life ought to be, but we don’t quite seem to be able to implement our ideals just quite yet. At some point, a person is blessed with “arrival.” They reach a point in life for which they yearned, and now it is time to make good on their dreams.

I was once present in a friend’s house when the neighbor came over and blamed him for the fallen fence between their properties, and demanded that he pay one-half of the cost to rebuild it, some $2,000. I saw from the expression that my friend gave his wife that this issue was a non-starter. There was no way that they were at fault, and no way that they were legally obligated to pay. Yet, I saw my friend take out a checkbook and write a check. I was confused, and when the neighbor left, I asked my friend about it. He explained, “This neighbor is an honest, good neighbor. We have a great relationship. But, in this case, although it is totally not my fault that it fell, he truly believes that he is entitled to one-half reimbursement on the fence that I would just as well live without. He has been demanding payment for awhile now, and I finally decided to give him the money from my Shalom Bayis account.”

“Shalom Bayis Account?” I repeated with surprise.

“Yes,” he explained, “I decided that when I became a partner in the company I work for, and my earnings increased, I would allocate $5,000 a year towards Shalom Bayis, situations where my spending money will keep the peace. Three years ago I was promoted to partner, and I have fulfilled my dream since. Instead of arguing in such cases, if the claim is reasonable, or the person is normally reasonable, I will tap into this allocation to keep the peace.”

Not all of us can allocate $5,000 a year for a Shalom Bayis account. Yet there are things, such as time, that we may yearn to use more generously when our dream situation is realized. Take for example the average worker who is answerable to a boss. They dream of being more patient and encouraging to others, but they don’t quite have the time to be as generous as they would like. But, if someone is promoted to leadership they then have a remarkable choice. Now that they no longer have a boss in a formal way, they can decide to become pompous and self-centered, or they can decide that their time is now their own to decide how to use it for the benefit of the people they are responsible for. They can now afford to leave their office door open and allow people to come in and chat and get a good word from the principal or boss. Which one will it be, now that they have arrived?

I know of a dentist who had a dream that when he gets his own office, and is his own boss, he would take off 3 weeks a year to travel abroad and offer services to needy children. Recently he achieved that milestone in his life, and he did. He took the time off just as he planned he would do when he would “arrive.”

It is indeed remarkable that a person should remember and implement the dreams of the past, when they actually do “arrive.” It is precious to hear the words of the landowner, upon whom many other people’s livelihood depends, state with clarity that it is G-d’s blessing that brought him to where he is today, and he recognizes his responsibility to others in the community.

But it is also interesting that one need not wait for all criteria to be met in order to start fulfilling our dreams. One can begin a small Shalom Bayis account before he or she can afford a big one. One can have a little extra dose of patience for people even as we live life as ordinary citizens. And, one can choose to allocate a bit of time to an altruistic cause that we value even before we have “arrived.”

In fact, it sometimes takes almost a lifetime to “arrive,” or to prepare for retirement. That’s why Avos (2:4)  advises us that we not wait until we “arrive.” By implementing the dreams as best as we can without delay, we ensure that we will be ready to “arrive.” When we do, that “arriving” will really be a fulfillment of our dreams.

© 2017 by TEACH613™