Praying for the Unknown

by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

Yakov felt a special commonality with his son, Yosef. In this week’s parsha, he grants Yosef a special portion, the city of Shechem. Yakov declares, “I grant you a portion more than the others, a portion which I acquired through my prayers.” Why does Yakov take credit for conquering Shechem with his prayers if it was actually conquered by Shimon and Levi? Also, why is Yosef especially deserving to get this portion?

When we recall the events that preceded the Shechem conquest, we realize that Yakov was in a difficult predicament. The local prince had kidnapped and assaulted Yakov’s daughter, Dinah, and the population knew nothing of law enforcement. Yakov was afraid to take decisive action as he later described, because he was afraid that the neighboring tribes would retaliate. Yakov was deeply violated, but he felt weak and vulnerable, and was distinctly at a loss of what to do. Not knowing what to do, he simply prayed. He prayed intensely for three days straight, until, without his consent, Shimon and Levi took decisive action.

To the onlooker, the victory at Shechem was due to the strategic planning and heroism of Shimon and Levi. They are the ones who ruled that a city in which there is no law and order deserves drastic punishment. And they are the ones who chose to implement it.  But Yakov saw it differently. Although Yakov did not pray for a military victory- in fact he did not know what he was praying for- Yakov understood that it was only due to his powerful and desperate prayers that Shimon and Levi were victorious against an entire city in such a miraculous way, with no negative repercussions or retaliations.

Yakov’s prayers were most unique regarding the crisis in Shechem. He didn’t pray for any particular solution, as he had none in mind. He had no idea what to do. Instead, he left it up to Hashem to solve. His part was that he simply prayed intensely for 72 hours that there should be a solution.

Sometimes in life we think that we know the solution. We only engage Hashem because we know that we need His help. Yakov’s prayer at Shechem is instructive in that he was not telling Hashem what he would like Hashem to do. Instead he recognized himself to be totally at a loss of what to do. Only Hashem could invent a successful solution.

Yosef, Yakov’s beloved son, was in a similar dilemma. He was sold into slavery by his brothers and certainly wanted to be united with his family. But he did not want to do so in a way that violated the consensus of his brothers that he, Yosef, deserved to be ostracized. Yosef in his righteousness recognized that although his brothers were mistaken about his motives and aspirations, they were not evil, and he would not consider sending a message to his father about what happened. He craved resolution. He craved to be reunited with his father. But he had no idea how to go about asking for a solution. His prayer, like Yakov’s in Shechem, was not that Hashem should help him in a particular endeavor. Rather they prayed that Hashem in His wisdom should create a solution.

Yosef never did tell Yakov what really happened. But Yakov must have sensed that there was more to the story of Yosef going from slave to royalty than Yosef let on. Presumably Yakov sensed the conflict within Yosef, that for some reason, although he was king and loved Yakov very much, Yosef was unable to communicate with him until this time. For whatever reason, Yosef shared a commonality with his father, in praying for a solution to a situation which had no apparent solution.

Often we pray to Hashem feeling that we are somewhat in charge. We think we know the problem. We think we know the solution. We are just asking Hashem to help us along. But another type of prayer is when a person feels truly helpless. In such times, he or she prays for the unknown. “I don’t even know how a solution could be possible,” the person thinks. And yet they pray because they know that to Hashem anything is possible. Lucky is the person who leaves go of their helplessness and prays for a solution to a problem that seemingly has none.

With best wishes for a wonderful Shabbos!

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