Sugya Series
Lo Sachmod- Not to desire that which belongs to someone else
The Mitzvah
1. You shall not covet [sachmod] your friend’s house. You shall not covet your friend’s wife, his maidservant, his ox, his donkey, nor anything that belongs to your friend. (Shimos 20:14)
2. You shall not covet your friend’s wife. You shall not desire [sisaveh] your friend’s house, his field, his slave, his maidservant, his ox, his donkey, or anything that belongs to your friend. (Devorim 5:18)
3. Someone who covets something that could be purchased, and he pressured the owner until he agreed to sell it, even if he paid a lot of money for the item he is in violation of the commandment of lo sachmod / you shall not covet. One is not in violation until he took the item which he coveted. There is no punishment of malkos / lashes on this violation because it doesn’t have an action. (Rambam Gizeila 1:9, see Magid Mihsnah: The convincing is the prohibition. This act is completed at the time of sale. [consider comparing to Piru Urivu)
4. One who desires something that could be purchased, once he thinks how he will acquire it, and his heart is set on it, he is in violation of the commandment lo sisaveh / you shall not desire. Desire means that it was only in the heart. (Rambam Gizeila 10)
Background
5. The mitzvah of lo sisaveh / you shall not desire includes the desire that remains in our hearts. You may wonder: How can a person be expected to restrain himself from desiring the good things that his friend has, while he is empty-handed?
It is possible for a person to control their desires, and to turn one’s heart in whichever way a person desires.
(Chinuch 416)
6. How can it be that a person shouldn’t desire beautiful things that are owned by another person?
Know that an intelligent person of a small town doesn’t hope to marry the princess. An intelligent person must realize that a beuatiful woman or money will not become his unless Hashem wills it so. (Ibn Ezra, Shimos 20:14)
Guidelines
7. Instead let a person think, “May Hashem provide me with this type of item.” Although this too is empty and of poor spirit because a person should yearn for wisdom, understanding, and good character traits.
(Peleh Yoetz- Chemda)
8. Although from an ethical standpoint a person should not desire another person’s things at all, one is not in violation unless he plans and decides to acquire it. (Aruch Hashulchan 359:8)
9. If a person doesn’t pressure the owner into selling, and decides that if the owner doesn’t want to sell he will not continue to desire it, he is permitted to ask if the item is for sale. (Lihoros Noassan 5:52-3. Note: On some items the mere asking is already a degree of pressure. Unused lawnmower vs. car, home, wife)
10. If one person knows a wisdom or skill and another person wants to acquire it from him, and does so, he is not in violation. The mitzvah only applies in cases where when the second person takes it, the first person is left without it. (Aruch Hashulchan 359:10)
Applications
11. A Chamsan [this is a person who purchases things from the owner against their will, even though he pays for the items] is considered to be in violation of a Rabbinic level of theft, and is invalid as a witness.
(Shulchan Aruch, Chosen Mishpat 34:12. Wasn’t automatically invalid because lo sachmod doesn’t have Malkos or because people don’t realize that violation is even if pays – see Aruch Hashulchan 359:13 and 34:2 )
12. The Chofetz Chayim writes that the pressure that a Chosson puts on his father-in-law to give items that were not included in the original negotiations, is a violation of lo sachmod.
This can be analyzed, because some maintain that pressuring for a gift is not lo sachmod because the pressure of asking for a gift is not significant and a person is able to refuse. However, here the Choson will accept to take care of the man’s daughter in the future, so it may have the status of paying for the item requested, which is considered significant pressure.
It is possible that those who allow themselves to apply such pressure feel that they aren’t in violation of lo sachmod because they are not pressuring for themselves. They claim that the requested gift is for the benefit of the giver, so that his daughter should be properly provided for.
(Teshuvos V”Hanhagos 2:617)
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