by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

Of the many commandments that were given to us, a significant number were taught to segments of the Jewish people, one group at a time. In this week’s portion, however, Hashem directs Moshe to “tell the entire congregation: You shall be holy.” Why was it necessary to make this statement to the entire congregation in unison?

When we consider the commandment “to be holy”, we must clarify the meaning of the word “holy”. Some people will surely conjure up the image of a hermit, a person who has chosen to seclude himself from society. In Judaism, however, a person is expected to interact with people. For example, when choosing a Cantor, there are many qualities that we look for. Not only do we look for a person with piety and a good voice, but a specific requirement is that we must choose a person who interacts well with other people.

The Jewish concept of holiness is not seclusion from society. The mitzvah was given “to the entire congregation” to illustrate that the path to holiness is by aligning ourselves with other good people.

A number of years ago, when I was in high school, a young man in my class was seen in a place that he shouldn’t have been. The information became known to our Rebbe, and he called the young man in for a talk. The Rebbe asked him to explain his behavior, and the young man responded. “Rebbe,” he said, “you have to understand. Sometimes a person just has to hang out.” The Rebbe nodded. “It’s true. Sometimes a person just has to hang out. But if you hang out in good places then good things will happen to you.”

Does being holy require that we build a fence around ourselves? It certainly does. There are places that a person shouldn’t be. But the fence we build is also inclusive. It is a fence designed to include within it many good people. Such a fence creates momentum and positive energy. It provides us with likeminded friends, and many good neighbors.

There is a fascinating statement in the words of the Rambam in the laws of marriage. The Rambam writes, “A person should endeavor to marry into a home that values Torah. In case he dies young, he will rest assured that his children will be raised in the proper way.”

I ask you: Is this the attitude that the Rambam recommended for a healthy marriage. Did he want the groom to walk down the aisle thinking, “What if I die young?”

It seems to me that the Rambam certainly wished every couple, a long and happy life. The Rambam, however, is saying something very profound. When you marry into a family, you are enveloping yourself with a fence. You are joining with other people. Will those new people help you in pursuing your values? Or will you spend your life trying to overcome their influence on you?

The Rambam recommends asking the following question. “What will happen to my children if I am not here?” Without your influence what would occur to them? This will help you clarify if the fence you have chosen is compatible with your goals.

This question is not limited to the decision of marriage. Whenever a person moves to a new neighborhood or joins a new synagogue, this question can be asked. “What direction will my new enclosure take me? If I go along with the influences around me, what will be my future?” Hopefully, the answer is a gratifying one.

Let us therefore take a moment to appreciate the friends who surround us. Recognize that the mitzvah “to be holy” is not something that you can fulfill on your own. A human being needs the momentum that comes from group energy. So, build a “fence”. Not just a fence to protect yourself, but equally important, a fence to enclose yourself with likeminded, wonderful people. Hang out with them; socialize with them; respect them. Good fences are so important. Good fences make exceptionally good neighbors.

With best wishes for a wonderful Shabbos!

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