Do you have an exit plan?

by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

The Jewish people were just about ready to go. After decades of slavery they were told that upon the next plague they would be set free. Suddenly, though, a mitzvah is given to them through Moshe. “Please tell the people that they should ask from their friends, gifts.” The commentaries say that “friends” refers to the Egyptians, and “Please” is because Hashem did not want Avraham to say, “After years of slavery, you had my children go out with nothing?!”

What is surprising is that one would hardly expect the Egyptian taskmasters to be referred to as “friends”. Is it proper for the people who abused, killed, and tortured Jews, to now be referred to as their friends? Also, what is meant by the special word “Please”? It is almost like Hashem is asking for some special accommodation, beyond the anticipated call of duty.

It occurred to me that what is happening here might be what unfortunately sometimes has to happen at a family simcha. Sometimes it happens that some people in the family don’t totally get along with some others. May you be blessed that it should never be in your family, but in cases that it happens, we might say to the people: For the sake of the simcha, for the sake of the family, please make-believe. When the in-law you don’t get along so well with, offers his hand in greeting, make believe you get along. Take his hand with warmth and give him your brightest smile, as if you get along. When the sibling who has given you some heartache embraces you, make believe that things are alright… at least until the simcha passes successfully. You might not be best of friends, but be an actor, and execute the moves to perfection.

We find in the Torah that there is a unique attitude that an employer is supposed to have when he lets an employee go. In the case of the Eved Ivri the Torah says, “Load him up with gifts, from that which Hashem blessed you.” The employer is supposed to recognize the contribution which the worker has made, and give him a tip. It is not enough to hide behind the fact that you paid the going wage. As the Talmud expresses the attitude, “Did the worker endanger his life for nothing?” The loyal worker took risks and made sacrifices. When you let him go you must acknowledge his contribution.

From the time that Avraham was told that his children would be slaves, Hashem made a commitment that upon exit there would be “great wealth” given to them. This commitment was reiterated to Moshe (3:21) when he began his mission of redemption. “When they leave, they will not leave empty handed.” And it is this commitment which Hashem- as the broker and mediator of this great deal- is seeing through at the time of redemption.

You see, both the Jews and the Mitzriyim might very well have been most reluctant to role model the proper behavior which the Torah mandates when a worker is let go. The Mitzriyim might still have had trouble acknowledging the Jews’ contribution (as they denied Yosef’s contribution years before, see Shemos 1:8), and were not necessarily prepared to express any warmth or friendship to the Jews. “Isn’t it enough that we are letting them go?” the Mitzriyim would undoubtedly ask. It was only because of their respect for Moshe and the plagues that they agreed to give gifts.

Likewise, the Oznayim Latorah explains, many Jews might very well have been reluctant to accept reparations from the people who oppressed them and killed their children. Much like the debate after the Holocaust “to take or not to take” there were surely many who did not want to take. “Please speak to the people…” Hashem tells Moshe. As I promised Avraham years ago, his children shall leave with great wealth. Their contribution shall be acknowledged. They shall get the sendoff of friendship. Even if they are not in the mood, I am asking them to role model good behavior.

The concept of proper sendoff is not limited to employer/ employee relationships. Every relationship runs the risk of getting warmer and warmer until, at some point, it may need to cool a bit. This is similar to the Peter Principle in management that people who are competent will be promoted, until they are promoted to a position they are ill suited for. At that point it may become necessary to disengage a bit. To do so, one of two approaches can be employed. One approach is to deny the prior relationship in its totality. This is to be so locked in to the “fallout,” that the fallout expresses with finality the totality of the relationship. The approach mandated by the Torah, however, requires that even when there must be a parting of ways, the goodness of the time together must not be denied.

Much as the Torah teaches us the importance of the mitzvah of burial by telling it to us even by a convict, and the Torah teaches us the law of returning lost objects even by someone you dislike, the Torah tells us that the Jews were to be granted passage of friendship, even from the most stressful of relationships: The Egyptian Bondage. In future times the Jews would practice this mitzvah as a nation in much more sensible situations. Through this mitzvah and the attitude of gratitude which it represents, the worker who is let go is let go with appreciation, and with the encouragement to start life anew by putting his best foot forward.

© 2016 by TEACH613™