Points you don’t want to miss:
“Those who are at a funeral because of the mourning are absolved of Shema when they are needed. Those who are at the funeral for themselves are not awarded such a dispensation.”
Rashi explains, “For themselves: They did not come to give honor and comfort, but rather they came to see the event.”
On a Mussar (ethics) level, one can reflect on any Mitzva that one does, considering what the motivation might be. In this case, the Talmud recognizes that some people come to comfort the bereaved, while others come because this is where the action is.
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“Don’t open up your mouth to Satan.” The Talmud teaches that verbalizing a bad occurrence or critical thought is significant, and should be done with care. A person should not come to terms of a loss by saying, “This is just a fraction of what I deserve for my shortcomings.” It may sound like saintly humility, but it can open a person to judgment, as in “Oh, really, you deserve more punishment…” Instead our Tzidduk Hadin recited graveside simply states, “Hashem has given, Hashem has taken. May the Name of Hashem be blessed.” Basically, an acknowledgement that Hashem is in charge.
In practical, everyday life, Jews have a sensitivity to how to express things. When expressing critical thoughts about others we have significant rules of Lashon Horah. Also, when saying something like, “Look before you cross the street,” or “don’t talk while you are eating,” we do not vividly express the possibly morbid consequences of an accident or choking. Instead we simply say, “because we need you to say safe.”
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Being new at the daf. I just got my art scroll books
How can a beginner keep up with the speaker when page number is not given 19a1 etc. Very hard to get coordinated with the reader. Unfamiliarity breeds frustration. Respectfully,
Hi Norman, Congratulations on the purchase of ArtScroll! Your question is right on target. The speaker follows the page number and description of the traditional text page. So at first glance, it seems improbable that you will be able to find the place in the ArtScroll English. Well said!
The solution is equally simple. The traditional page is announced by the speaker at the start of the class in three formats. First the page in the Hebrew, then its translation in English, and then finally the pagination in the traditional text. What you should listen for is the English translation, and ignore both the Hebrew page number and the pagination in the traditional text. That English page number will correspond to the number 19 of your example, and will also identify if we are starting on “a” of that folio or “b”.
What ArtScroll has done is they placed a grey highlight mark next to the text in the traditional text which that English page is translating. So first find the place in the traditional text, and then you will be able to realize if it will be translated (for example) on 19a1, 19a2, or 19a3. (Most pages go up to a3 or a4.) If you hear that we are starting from the top of the page, it will probably be a1. Otherwise, by watching the grey highlight, you can get a sense of which page you need to be on.
There is more guidance I can provide as you progress. Please give yourself a chance to succeed. Many in the group have entered the Big Leagues of Talmud study with little background. So just being patient with ourselves will enable success.
All blessings! Please give it a few days, and feel free to follow up with more questions as you progress.