Into Uncharted Waters

by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

The Jewish people were on the go. The long-awaited time of the Exodus had finally come. But, it couldn’t have been easy.

The goal was to bring the Jewish people to a state of being a princely and G-dly people. This would be no small accomplishment. They had been slaves for so many years. Not only would circumstances have to change, they themselves would have to change. But, they were up to the task and they put their best foot forward.

Some commentaries suggest that the commandment the Jews were given on the eve of the Exodus was meant to ease their transition into their new status. “Speak to the people and they shall request from the Egyptians silver and gold vessels.” (Shimos 11:2) To ask their former taskmasters for gifts was not necessarily an easy thing for all Jews to do. For many, like to some Jews after the Holocaust, such gifts– perhaps called “reparations”– seem like “blood” or “sin” money. However, that is not really what these gifts were. They were expressions of admiration, ushering the Jews into their new status as a “Light onto the nations.” As the Torah tells us, the Egyptians viewed the Jews with grace, and also “Moshe was very great in their eyes.” (Shimos 11:3)

Often in life people reach a comfort zone in which they are happy with the predictable even if it is, in an extreme case, an abusive situation, or just a wasteful way to spend the rest of one’s life. A noted therapist writes of a repetitive family dynamic in which the seven-year-old boy would bang a spoon loudly for the longest time. Eventually his mother would say to his father, “Can’t you make him stop that?” Dad would look up from his paper and scream, “Stop it!” The boy would jump in fright, cry, and then be cuddled by mom who then screamed at dad, “I asked you to get him to stop, I didn’t ask you to scream at him.” After a few minutes the boy would find another irritating way to get attention, and the pattern would repeat. While no one truly enjoyed the dynamic, it was predictable and left them in their familiar comfort zone. (Difficult Conversations, by Stone, Patton, and Heen)

Similarly in life people arrive at an emotional comfort zone. They may become accustomed to feeling disenfranchised, unheard, or bossed around. Sometimes people become so accustomed to making excuses that when things finally stabilize they have trouble morphing into productive mode. Change, especially internal change, is not easy. But, it is worth it. Growing up, taking charge, enables us to become all we can be.

I recall vividly the words of a high school principal at graduation. He told the graduates, “Until now most of the tasks that you did were done because you were assigned them by your teacher. As you graduate a great change is about to occur. You will no longer be forced by rules and tests to do what we expect of you. It will be up to you to take responsibility, and to put yourself in a place of structure so that you take charge of your life.”

It occurred to me that there are two types of “perpetual students.” One type is good. That is the lifelong learner who, in class or out of class, continues to grow internally and externally from life experience and opportunity. But there is a “perpetual student” that has emotionally never quite graduated from school. He or she awaits the command that never seems to come because he or she is no longer in school. They obediently take what life offers them not realizing that they are free to proceed on a great life journey to discover their own princeliness and G-dliness.

The prophet relates Hashem’s admiration for the Jewish people for this great step that they took for themselves and for mankind, as they left Egypt. “The love you showed Hashem in your bridal days,” when, you began as a nation, and followed Hashem trustingly from an existence you were familiar with, into an existence of vision and eternity.

© 2017 by TEACH613™